Porker with a forker. It must have shrunk in the wash! Ding dang! I can’t fit in my fancy dance outfit! Humm . . . Hold on y’all while I check my weight . . . Hells bells! I’ve like gained loads ‘O weight! Yikes! No wonder I have ham arms! This is war. Weight war. It’s back to my tried and true Weight Watchers basics: Writing down everything I dine upon! I’m talkin’ if I bite it, write it. Nibble it, scribble it and all that. Plus I’ve got to exercise every ding dang day! But, let’s keep this dietin’ program in perspective. I mean some folks can just get a bit too carried away. Like this lawsuit-lovin’ person who is suing Applebee’s over its Weight Watchers menu ‘cause the person’s precious tilapia had like 126 calories more than the menu stated. In Weight Watchers talk that’s like 1 point. Give me a ding dang break! Talk ‘bout makin’ a mountain out of a molehill! Instead of suin’, this person ought to spend time workin’ off that pent-up frustration at the gym and maybe a little weight at the same time. With all the ding dang problems in the world, spendin’ precious resources of time and money over something this dumb-as-a-doornail dim-witted just flat drives me batty. I hope the judicious judge throws this 50-point cow patty of a lawsuit right smack outta court. Honey, that’d make me as happy as a porker pig rollin’ in mud on Monday!

Ok y’all. Let’s get on with the buzz on biz!
So one way to get in some exercise is under the deep blue sea! I’m talkin’ all ‘bout Fanta-Sea Divers located at 1400 Eatonton Road, Ste. 750 in Madison! It’s owned by Master Scuba Diver Trainer Jerry Thompson of Morgan County, Dave Olcott of Oxford and Veronica Fallin of McDonough. Ok so the deal is this: Fanta-Sea Divers sells all kinds of divin’ equipment and they offer scuba divin’ lessons right smack here in Madison at our brand spankin’ new and fabulous Morgan County Aquatic Center! The next class is slated for August 14, 15 and 16! Hey and they also host fab scuba divin’ trips! Y’all head over there today or give Jerry a call at 706-752-0282 to sign up!

Oh. My. Gosh!  Little Phillies located at 1400 Eatonton Highway in Madison right near the Fanta-sea Diving shop is OPEN! Now listen up y’all! Little Phillies is the home of homemade cheese steak hoagies and they are flat famous! Ok so here’s the deal! Vic Orgo opened the first Little Phillies  in Covington like 15 years ago and this is the second location! Vic and Rodney Gentes are operatin’ our location and Rodney was back there just a cookin’ up a storm yesterday when I popped in! So anyway, the restaurant has 60 seats and is decorated in UGA style! Oh and they have three flat screens too! Anyway the food is fantastic! They serve their famous steak hoagies, hot heros, chicken hoagies, fried shrimp, traditional buffalo wings, all-beef hotdogs and chili, burgers and cold subs! They have salads and a kid’s menu too! Y’all get over there immediately to check it out!

Be cool back to school. Town & Country owner Ginger Gardner wanted me to tell y’all that she’s got North Face School Backpacks that are oh so cool! They come in different styles like Jester, Recon, Borealis and more! Oh and they come in all kinds of fantastic colors like black, red, green, blue, nightcamo brown, terrazzo pick and then some! Get over there and pick one up today! Town & Country is located at 204 West Washington St., in Madison next to the beautiful James Madison Inn!

News flash! Yes! The famous, fantastic Firefly Festival is happenin’ this weekend in beautiful Town Park located between West Washington and West Jefferson Streets! It’s gonna be super fantastic! Hey and the Firefly Festival’s main stage sponsor is Main Street Vet owned by Dr. James Williams of Madison! Thanks James! Humm . . . maybe James will wear his cute kilt outfit to the fest! Love it! It all starts a twilight Friday and Saturday nights so y’all had best plan frolick with the fireflies! I’ll see all y’all there! Can’t flat wait!

Hey! Y’all don’t forget Town 220’s fab wine tastin’ event tonight, Thursday, July 30 startin’ at 6:30! What a way to spend the evenin’! Call Town 220 for more info at 706-752-1445! Oh and Town 220 is located at 220 West Washington Street in Madison behind the James Madison Inn! Sign me up!
That’s it for the biz on buzz this week. Y’all be extra sweet to Momma, shop local, local, local and I’ll see all y’all next week: Same time. Same Number One Weekly Newspaper in the Great State of Georgia!