The Dogchurian Candidate. Momma the Georgia Fan is dogsittin’ Uga, the famous UGA bulldog mascot! This gives us the Perf opportunity to brainwash that bulldog and turn ‘em into a bona fied Auburn Fan right smack before the big game! Let’s run through the check list:  Auburn flag on the front porch? Check. Matchin’ Aubie the Tiger outfits for Petey-the-Poodle and Scrappy-the-Chihuahua-mixed-with-lord-knows-what? Check. Auburn fight song with great Auburn football moments overlaid with loads o’ sci-fi brainwashin’, mind control, hypno gadgetry? Double check! All set! Here comes Momma walkin’ Uga! Momma! You look flat wore out! Take my handsome husband’s credit card and go Spa Hoppin’ over at Pure Bliss located at 131 West Jefferson St., and The Spa at the James Madison located at 218 West Washington St.! Don’t worry! We’ll watch that cute little Uga for you! Bye! Petey! Scrappy! Get Uga in front of the TV and start the brainwashin’ DVD! He LOVED it! Now for the special hypnosis session. Uga . . . watch the treat swirl and swirl . . . you are now in a deep, deep doggy sleep . . . You’re now a bona fined Auburn fan. You will never try to bite an Auburn football player EVER AGAIN! Instead you’ll howl and bark in delight whenever Auburn scores! Now here’s your treat! Ouch! Uga’s done tried to take a bite outta my bowhonckers! Ding Dang! My scheme’s done backfired like a fumble at the one yard line! Hey and I mean nobody had better steal my Auburn flag this year and exchange it for a Georgia one or I’ll be slappin’ somebody into next week!

Well I don’t know ‘bout you, but the bright orange and blue outfit I’m wearin’ on Game Day is a super perfect fit! That’s cause I’ve done been scanned! That’s right y’all! I’m talkin’ ‘bout the coolest, newest business in town and that’s none other than I. Bowman Apparel Gallery - Unique Boutique! Scan. Click. Fit. Ok so it’s owned by our very own Madisonian Mael Bowman and it’s located at 207 West Washington St., right smack down from Petal’s Salon! Talk ‘bout personalized shoppin’! Trust me y’all: This is the most unique fashion establishment in Morgan County! Right! So here’s how it works! Just pop over to Unique Boutique and step into its 3-D body scanning booth that uses the latest in laser technology to scan your body for the most comprehensive and accurate assessment of your measurements! It only takes seconds plus it’s oh so cool like star trek but more stylish! Now you’re all ready to literally click and shop for custom made fab fashions tailored specifically to your body and your style! You can check out fabric samples in the store! Custom-made Egyptian cotton shirts? No problem. Custom-made jackets or pants? Get ‘em in the fabric and style of your choice! See a dress or pattern you like? Bring it on! Y’all have just got to check this out and get scanned for a perf fit! Call 706-342-0660 to set up an appointment today!

Lead the band! Lead the band! Hey! There’s Madison Main Street Director Ann Huff decked out in a fancy marchin’ band outfit with one of them batons! Ok so Ann is gettin’ everybody ready for Madison’s Annual Christmas Parade scheduled for December 1 at 5:15! We need some spectacular floats so y’all call Ann right now at 706-342-1251 Extension 206 and get registered! Followin’ the parade, Santa and his Elves will be at the Madison-Morgan County Courthouse to see all the little kids so get those Christmas lists ready! Yikes! I nearly forgot! Ann wanted me to tell y’all that this year’s Caroling By Candlelight will be held Dec. 10 at Town Park from 6 p.m. until 8 p.m.!

Small but Special! Y’all know what I’m talkin’ ‘bout! The 30th Annual Rutledge Christmas in the Country is slated for Friday, Nov. 20 and Saturday, Nov. 21 from 10 a.m. until 5 p.m. and Sunday, Nov. 22 from noon until 5 p.m.! honey this is one of my most favorite events! They’re gonna have live entertainment, carriage rides and crafts in the city Park! And, of course fab shoppin’! I’ll see all y’all there!

I flat have got to pass this on before I sign off! Last week while I was in Huntsville helping my parents I was just a sportin’ my new fab jacket purchased at Amelia’s located at 172 South Main St., in Madison with one of the Citizen’s fantastic 20 percent off Crazy Coupons for Amelia’s! Anyhow this lady at the grocery store demanded I tell her where I bought it and then made me take off the jacket so she could see the label! Fab Fashion from Amelia’s always draws a crowd!
Y’all be good and I’ll see all y’all next week if the Good Lord is willin’: Same time. Same Number One Newspaper in the Great State of Georgia!   Hey and don’t forget to check out the Citizen’s Crazy Coupons at www.morgancountycitizen.com! Love it!