Gobble . . . .Gobble . . . Gobble! Momma! Will you shut your turkey-callin’ mouth for one dad-blasted minute!
    I’m tryin’ to concentrate on our huntin’ map ‘cause I know just where those big ole fat, tasty wild gobblers are a roostin’! We’re gonna have us a Thanksgivin’ Feast like no other! Come on and let’s get on our fancy huntin’ outfits! We gotta get out in the woods before the sun! Shotgun? Got it! Ammo? Set! Rabbit foot? In the bag! Snacks and White Lightin’? Cheers! Let’s hunt! Ding dang!
    These woods are flat dark as ink! I can’t see sardines! Grab hold of my hand, Momma! Hells Bells! When in the Sam Hill did you start wearin’ fur gloves with pointy long claws! And, stop that huffin’ and a growlin’ or you’ll scare the gobblers! What the? Momma? Is that you over there next to that tree stand? Well if that’s you, who in Tarnation am I draggin’ . . . SHASTA! Momma toss over our snacks and white lightin’ to my Black Bear friend! Just do it and I’ll make a run for it! Whew! We just barely made it out alive! I reckon we’d best stick with the buzz on biz!
    Holiday Madness. I know we haven’t even had Thanksgivin’ yet . . . But SO WHAT? I’m flat ready for CHRISTMAS! The tree! The lights! The Nativity Scene I never put away from last year! The SHOPPIN’! And, honey all of Morgan County is flat gearin’ up for some Holiday fun! Madison Main Street and a host of fab retailers are hostin’ a Merchants Holiday Tour of Shops Nov. 19 and 20 from 10 a.m. til 6 p.m.!
    Honey! They’re gonna have free carriage rides, live music and cool discounts and refreshments in participatin’ shops and restaurants!
    Y’all check out the Madison Main Street ad in this week’s paper for more intel! Hey and Rutledge is hostin’ its 31st annual Christmas in the Country annual holiday open house Nov. 19 through Nov. 21 . . . Oh and honey there’s even gonna be real snow in the Rutledge City Park during festival hours from 10 a.m. til 5 p.m. Nov. 19 and 20 and from noon til 5 p.m. on Nov. 21! Don’t miss it y’all!
    Ringggg. Ringgg. Hold on y’all and let me get the phone! Hu hum. . . Got it! Ok y’all! That was Theresa Bishop, owner of Belles, Beaux and Gifts located at 115 South Main St., in downtown Madison! She wants me to tell all y’all that she’s havin’ a trunk show from 11 a.m. til 6 p.. Tuesday, Nov. 9 to showcase all of her beautiful French lines! Representatives from Garnier-Thiebaut linens and Revol Porcelain will be there all ding dang day!
    Plus Theresa says a rep from that fabulous French cookware line, Le Creuset, will also be on hand! Oh and there’ll be fantastic door prizes, discounts and refreshments! Be there!
    Two familiar faces from Goldsmith & Associates have teamed up and formed Complete Accounting Solutions LLC, located at 189 West Jefferson St. in Madison! That’s right! Stacey Bassett and Kerrie Wofford will handle all your accounting needs, including tax, payroll and bookkeeping! Check ‘em out or give em a call at 706-342-2201!
    Ham it up! Our local Kiwanis Fundraiser is in full swing and 100 percent of proceeds go to benefit the children of Morgan County! Here’s the deal: Get a 7-8 lb Glazed Spiral Cut Virginia Hams for Thanksgiving and Christmas for only $40 per ham! Now that’s a ding dang diddly deal! No need to drive to Athens or Conyers! You can get your yummy ham from any Kiwanis member or at Town & Country, Amelia’s or Creative Mark!
    Y’all don’t forget Randall Bramblett at the Madison-Morgan Cultural Center this Saturday night at 8 p.m.! Tickets are only $15! Oh and I flat can’t wait for the Bostwick Cotton Gin Festival this Saturday Nov. 6 from 9 a.m. til 4 p.m. Can’t wait to spend the day in Bostwick!
    Hey and head over to Godfrey Cox for their first ever Vietri Founders Event with Vietri founder Susan Cravely who will be at the shop Sunday Nov. 7 from noon to 5 p.m. signin’ your brand spankin’ new Vietri pieces that you’ll get at a 20 percent discount! Honey Godfrey Cox is one of the country’s leadin’ Vietri retailers!
    Oh and I nearly forgot! Henri Moon wanted me to tell all y’all that Lilywind Kids located at 206 West Washington St., in Madison is celebratin’ it’s third anniversary Nov. 11, 12 and 13! With store-wide discounts and big, big and bigger shoppin’ spree giveaways!
    Honey, this shop has the most beautiful hand-made, one-of-a-kind clothes, accessories and gifts for tots to teens! Y’all check it all out! Happy Birthday Lilywind!
    That’s it for the buzz! Y’all be sweet to Momma, shop local and advertise local!
    I’ll see all y’all next week: Same time. Same Number One Weekly Newspaper in the Great State of Georgia!
Printed in the 11-4-10 edition