Ding dang! Y’all are flat early! I’m still in my pretty PJs! Y’all put the coffee on while I get dressed!  What the? My blasted blue jeans are too tight! My dryer must be shrinkin’ up my classy clothes! Now let me just get this new top on . . . Yikes! I look like a sausage in this outfit and where in the Sam Hill did these ugly jiggy rolls on my waist come from? Shoot fire! I’ve done grown a full dress size in the span of three weeks! That does it! It’s The Man’s fault! All this workin’ and no playin’ and no exercisin’ has made me flat fat! Therefore, The Man should have to pay for me to have a personal trainer immediately! Perf!
    Honey Madison Fitness Center located at 1290 Eatonton Road in Madison has just the thing! They’ve got trainers for adults and even for kids! That’s right! Honey now I know your kids have been piggin’ out on candy and Momma’s desserts all holiday season and I also know they’ve been lyin’ ‘round watchin’ TV shows and playin’ those ding dang electronic games on the TV.
    It flat ain’t right! So Madison Fitness has just the thing! Their new Intern/Instructor Megan Garber is gonna whip our Morgan County kids into shape! Ok so here’s the deal: Megan’s gonna teach the Fitness All-Stars fitness program that includes a daily lesson, aerobic activities, games and fun recreational stuff only kids understand! It’s for kids ages 4 to 10 and they’ll meet every Tuesday and Thursday in the afternoons after school. Kids 4 to 6 meet from 3:30 p.m. til 4 p.m., and kids 7 to 10 meet from 4 p.m. til 5 p.m. Oh and Megan is super qualified! She’s a junior at the University of Georgia and is a health promotion and behaviors major and a nutritional science minor. She’s a competitive gymnast and a competitive cheerleader too! Plus she’s certified in CPR!
    Call the Fitness Center today to sign your kids up at 706-342-9200!  She’ll have our kids flippin’ cartwheels in no time! Yay!
    Website creator extraordinaire and Madisonian Chris Cook flat moved his Madison Studios office to 150 W. Jefferson St., in downtown Madison! He smack outgrew his space! Honey, I was just over there and the new digs are fancy dance! I mean it’s almost like an art gallery ‘cause it’s filled with Chris’ cool original art – which is also for sale!
    Plus Chris has all this high, high tech equipment and even a flat screen TV that they use as a monitor! How cool is that? Oh and they have a beautiful conference area and windows everywhere! Ok so Chris specializes in website development, search engine marketing and social media marketing!
    Plus Chris will be celebratin’ his Five-Year Anniversary in March! Way to go! What a business success! He’s won tons and tons of awards for his websites and has done many of the most successful sites in Morgan County like The James Madison Inn & Spa, Madison Markets, Le Petit Jardin and even The Morgan County Citizen! The cool part is that Chris does web development projects for companies in Atlanta, throughout the state of Georgia and even places located in Ohio, Texas and Florida! Wow!  Y’all check out his website at www.madisonstudios.com and see photos of his new office, his awards and examples of his work! Congrats to Chris! Oh and give him a call at 706-342-7434 to talk about your website!
    Y’all start out the New Year keepin’ your pets healthy too! Check out Main Street Vet, located at 795 North Main Street in Madison, ‘cause honey they’re runnin’ a special til Jan. 14! I’m talkin’ The Puppy Package with 20 percent off all shots; The Pampering Service with 20 percent off a bath, blow-dry, brush out, nails clipped, ears cleaned and - hold the phone – anal glands checked (I’m glad I ain’t no dog!); A Wellness Visit with 10 percent off affordable, preventive care, vaccination for the health of your precious pet! Y’all schedule your pet today by callin’ 706-342-2955 and see Dr. James Williams! Go pets go!
    Outta space already! Y’all be real sweet! Bang a bunch of pots and pans with wooden spoons at midnight on New Year’s and y’all be safe! I’m talkin’ get that designated driver! Ok I’ll see all y’all next week: Same time. Same Number One Newspaper in the Great State of Georgia!   

Printed in the 12-30-10 edition