Ding Dang Momma! You’re flat cheatin’ like Bernie Madoff! Now hit me with another card pronto! Shoot fire! I lost again! I’m runnin’ smack outta cash! It’s time to get my handsome husband’s loaded wallet! Bingo! Let’s play and mean bonafied gamblin’! What? You mean to tell me I ain’t gotta leave Morgan County to go to Vegas! KNOCK, KNOCK! Who in the Sam Hill is there? Well, I reckon I’ll just have to open the blasted door . . . Oh. My. Ever. Livin’. Gosh! Momma! It’s Elvis! I’m talkin’ the Pelvis That Shook The World! Lord have mercy! He’s says he’s gonna be our escort to the Madison-Morgan Cultural Center next Friday, Nov. 18, for a “Night In Vegas!” I’m talkin’ high stakes game tables, slots, crazy people, cocktails and salacious scandal! Y’all don’t want to miss this wild night on the town! Honey, folks are gonna dress up as their favorite Vegas characters and then some! I’m talkin’ honey! Cover your eyes! Y’all call the Cultural Center at (706) 342-4743 for tickets and more intel! I’ll see you there! You can bet on it!
Hey, and y’all all had best not forget to head over to Rutledge next weekend (Nov. 18, 19 and 20) for my favorite event: the 32nd Annual Rutledge Christmas in the Country! Ding dang is right! They’re gonna rock it in Rutledge, y’all! I’m talkin’ handmade crafts, good, old-fashioned foods, carriage rides, train rides, music and fun at all the downtown shops and restaurants! Oh, and they’re gonna feature pictures with Santa too! Well paint my nose red and hitch me to a sleigh! Oh, and I almost forgot ‘bout the famous Red Doors Studio Open House and Block Party with Lily Beth’s Gifts and Rutledge Frame Shop & Gallery on Saturday, Nov. 19, startin’ at 5 p.m.! Honey, find out what small town livin’ is all ‘bout next weekend in Rutledge! I love it!
New shop alert! Now everybody in Tarnation’s been callin’ me to find out who’s openin’ up a shop over at 135 West Washington St., across from the Silver Fox! Well, I got the scoop! It’s Cranberry Cottage owned by Fran Ogletree of Madison! Right, so I popped over there while Fran was paintin’ and she said y’all are gonna love this new country décor shop! Fran’s hopin’ to open before Thanksgivin’ just smack in time for Christmas shoppin’! Anyhow, this fun new shop is gonna sell all things country like small cabinets, art, shelving, decorations for Christmas like wreaths, grapevine garland and more! Oh, and she’s gonna have fabulous country candles! I flat can’t wait y’all! 
Salute! That’s what I’m talkin’ ‘bout! Attention all veterans! Faye Craft of the Madison ChopHouse Grille, located at 202 South Main Street in downtown Madison, wanted me to tell you to come on in on Thursday, Nov. 10, beginnin’ at 4 p.m. for a FREE, FREE, FREE prime rib supper complete with special salad, baked potato and dessert! Wow! What a great to celebrate our veterans! Thanks ChopHouse!
Let’s pARTy! I’m talkin’ tonight, Thursday, Nov. 10, at the Meiere House Antiques, located at 270 South Main Street in downtown Madison, for the Madison Artists Guild’s final 2011 Meet Me at the Meiere House Art Opening from 6 p.m. 'til 8 p.m.! Leigh Lofgren, award-winning photographer, will be featured in this quarter's show! Y’all be there! Can’t wait!
That’s it for this week! Y’all shop local, local, local – I’m talkin’ Madison-Morgan County this holiday season! There is just no ding dang reason to hit the mall ‘cause honey, we got it all right smack here at home! Plus, when you shop local you’re helpin’ our community, our economy and our businesses that are run by our friends and neighbors! So think local first this holiday or Momma’s gonna slap you silly and Santa’s gonna bring you a bunch of ugly brown socks for Christmas! Yikes!
OK! I’ll see all y’all next week: Same time. Same Number One Weekly Newspaper in the Great State of Georgia!

Printed in the November 10, 2011 edition