Standby . . . Do not adjust your newspaper. . . This is not test. . . Repeat . . . This is not a test. The trickster ruler of the universe is at work as you read this very second! Breakdowns in communications. Stupid car episodes like knocked down stop signs and such! Wacked out fights your honeybunbun! Electronic meltdowns! Face it y’all! It’s Mercury Retrograde! And, trust me: I know of what I buzz ‘bout ‘cause I check my horoscope every ding dang day on FaceBook, makin’ me a bona fied expert on this topic! Let’s just say Mercury Retro is kind of like a full moon on Momma’s White Lightnin’! Exactly! So to survive this retro honky-tonk from March 12 to April 4 is to Relax. Get creative! Take it easy honey! Grab your favorite beverage and your most favorite newspaper in the entire beautiful universe and check out all the all in Morgan County! You got it! I’m flat with you! Wow! All we need is a drummer and honey we’ll have the band back together! I love it! Let’s check out the buzzin’ biz news then y’all can flip to the blotter to see Mercury Retrograde in full force!
    Right so the very best way to deal with the stress inside and out is to get your bow honkers smack over to Madison Family Chiropractors to see Dr. Elise Faust or Dr. Vince Campbell – both fab Madisonians! Ok, ok . . . I confess! I didn’t know squat ‘bout chiropractic care but got a quick education with Elise since I started going in January! It has been a fantastic experience! I feel so much better – my allergy symptoms are nearly gone along with minor aches and pains! What a difference! I mean it even helps with your golf game and I don’t even play! Love it! But, the best part is the Standard Process Cleanse Elise recommended I try! Trust me when I tell you: this cleanse is FABULOUS! Not only will you lose weight, but you’ll feel so much better and learn a world of truth about the effects foods have on your body and mood! Y’all check it out for yourself! Call Madison Family Chiropractors at 1163 Eatonton Road in Madison! Call them at 706-342-7115 or visit them online at ww.madisonfamilychiro.com! Do it! And, tell  ‘em the Buzz sent you!
Morgan County Beauty Watch! I’m talkin’ ‘bout the famous Paces Plastic Surgery of Atlanta’s tony Buckhead area is openin’ an office in Madison at The Spa at the James Madison! That’s right y’all! One of the nation’s leading plastic surgeons, Dr. Roderick Hester, Jr., listed in the “Best Doctors in America,” the “Best Doctors in the U.S.”, Town & Country Magazine, More Magazine and Atlanta Magazine as one of the top plastic surgeons, is gonna be right here! Dr. Hester also serves on the board of directors of The American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery! Now that’s famous! Oh and Dr. Kimberly Singh will also be here at the new office specializing in comprehensive cosmetic and reconstructive procedures with special interests in oculoplastics, facial rejuvenation (which I need IMMEDIATELY), aesthetic and reconstructive breast surgery and body contouring ! Dr. Singh graduated from Columbia University in New York and later obtained her medical degree from Emory University School of Medicine. And, finally, the renowned Dr. Nour Abboushi will be on hand to make us all beautiful and happy! He graduated Summa Cum Laude with degrees in biology and chemistry from the University of Houston, after which he pursued two years of research in transplant immunology and received a Masters degree in biochemistry. He completed plastic surgery training at Emory University and now is particularly interested in all facets of breast reconstruction and also specializes in facial cosmetic surgery and body contouring procedures following massive weight loss! Wow! We are flat getting the best of the best right here in town! Spa owner Rhonda Smith says an open house even is slated for April 25 at the new Variety Works venue on the Madison Markets Campus.  More on this later! In the meantime, check out their website at www.pacesplasticsurgery.com! This is big, big news and you heard it here first!
Hey! Y’all had best SHOP LOCAL FOR EASTER! Yes! Hint to handsome husband . . . get me a bunch of dark healthy chocolate and some of those yummy sugar-free chocolate turtles for EASTER or ELSE! Anyhow y’all are gonna flip your lids when you hop hop hop over  to Antique Sweets on Main Street in downtown Madison to check out all the goodies!
    Attention all Dogs! It’s Party Time! The Georgia Rescue and Rehabilitation's 4th Annual Doggie Easter Egg Hunt is Saturday, April 7 at Heritage Park in Madison. Registration begins at 11 a.m.! Right so there are gonna be two hunts beginnin’ at noon: One for big dogs and one of little and medium sized dogs! Honey 1,500 barkin’ Easter eggs will be filled with dog treats and then some! But, first get that leash or you don’t hunt! Plus dogs need an easter basket and your guess is as good as mine! Lots of other fun dog stuff will be offered as well like rabies vaccinations from Main Street Vet! Oh and it’s $10 for your first dog and $5 for addition dogs in your family! Be there! Check out www.garescueandrehab.com or call 706-752-1500 for more intel!
    As to humans, y’all will hunt eggs at the Morgan County Recreation  Department’s Easter egg hunt on Saturday, March 31 at Heritage Park starting at 1 p.m.!
    Oh and if y’all are looking for live music this weekend, Perk Avenue is THE PLACE TO BE! Check out page 7A’s ad in the paper honey for all the details on Eric Dodd this Friday night and Wayne Hill on this Saturday night! It’s always rockin’ at the Perk! Love it!
    That’s it! I’ve flat run outta room! See you next week! Same time. Same Number One Weekly Newspaper in the Great State of Georgia!

Printed in the March 29th edition.