Being a musician and sportswriter, when I think of strange, exploding, well, stuff, I think of exploding Ampeg basses and Veek’s exploding scoreboard. But now, as an “average” consumer, now I also have to worry about exploding washing machines.
Apparently, a number of front-loading washing machines around the country have been blowing the glass out of the front of the machines, spilling their loads all over the floor.
More than 50 occurrences have allegedly been reported, involving Beko, Miele, Zanussi, Bosch, Hoover, LG and Samsung models.
In addition to the glass in the doors of the machines simply falling out or cracking when not in use, owners return home to find shards of glass spread over their floors.
A representative of Beko reportedly said, “Whilst we have no reason to believe that there is fault with our washing machine range, we are investigating these incidents in full and always take such matters seriously.”
Archaic conjunctions aside, consumers apparently shouldn’t see the new exploding function on these washing machines as a drawback. It is the washer’s way of saying, “Welcome home! I just couldn’t wait to show you what a good job I did on your clothes, so I shot them all over the floor for you!”
Adrian Porter, home product researcher at Which?, a consumer advocacy charity, says that, while nothing has been confirmed, “There are theories ranging from hair cracks in the glass, or even that the glass is just thinner than it used to be.”
Yep, I can already hear myself years from now telling my grandchildren about the good old days when glass was thicker and washing machines didn’t explode.
I doubt they’ll believe me.

Printed in the October 11, 2012