Since I’m getting the chance to write my column up before the awaited apocalypse on the twenty-first, I think that, since this may never actually make it to print, it might be the perfect time to air out all of my personal concerns and opinions about the world...

But I’m not.

If, by the grace of the Mayans, we are all still kicking around on good-old planet Earth next week, you’ll have a nice, silly story to read, and, if history has taught us anything, there will be crazy stories ripe for the picking next time I look for stuff to mock.

In New Delhi, (and, no, that’s not on Main Street), a suspect, identified only as “Rajesh,” headed out on a Sunday morning to get some drunk food and, as he was sitting down to have a little nosh, pulled out a gun and started blasting on his waiter.
Yeah.

True, we’ve all had occasion to want to punish a member of a wait staff, but we don’t – typically. Let’s tune in and see what riled Rajesh up.

The Times of India reports that “Monu,” the waiter, refused to eat Rajesh’s left over flatbread.
So Rajesh shot at Monu.

Being a good boy, I’ve never balked at the offer of food, and, after learning about the possible consequences of doing so, I don’t think I’ll break the habit.

And the next time you find yourself confronted with a waiter who just doesn’t see things your way, just repeat to yourself:

“Monu, Monu, Monu...”

Printed in the December 27, 2012 edition