Something to dismember me by • Nick Nunn, Nunn-Sense
There was no sense of mystery or confusion when hospital surgeons found 16 foreign items inside Dick Schroeder, a 74-year-old German man, during a recent surgery. In fact, they weren’t surprised at all
...because they had left them there.
Sixteen pieces of medical equipment were left in one man, including “a needle, a 6-inch roll of bandage, a 6-inch long compress, several swabs and a fragment of surgical mask,” according to England’s Daily Mail.
A fragment of a surgical mask?
Did a nurse eat part of the mask during the surgery, only to stuff the rest into Herr Schroeder for a snack later in the procedure?
OK, wait; take a step back before you judge. How many times have you accidentally put the remote control in the fridge (or something similar) when you had other things on your mind?
That makes it alright... right?
Anyway, Schroeder began to think that something was wrong when he experienced discomfort while attempting to sit up.
After discovering the nature of the “stabbing” pain, it took two further surgeries to remove the items from the man, who only wanted the docs to work on his prostate in the first place.
I’d bet dollars to doughnuts that the hospital charged Schroeder, not only for the last two operations, but also for the tools that they “lost” in their patient.
Unfortunately, Schroeder lost his battle against prostate cancer last year, but his family is still seeking reparations from the Hannover hospital that stuffed their pappy like a piñata.
Allegedly the family is asking for approximately $127,000 from the hospital, who was ready with a counteroffer: $660.
Printed in the January 24, 2013 edition.