By: Diane Lively Yost
WARNING! This column contains Southern Fried content and may not be suitable for gloomy, humorless individuals or anyone with a hoity-toity disposition who speaks as though marbles are perpetually afloat in an oversized mouth. Be advised that readers will be exposed to strong redneck phrases and terms derived by the writer’s Alabama and Georgia heritage.
Cashless Shrugged. Red lipstick? Check. Santa ski-outfit ensemble? Check. Snow skis and lift tickets? Check. Leather bota bag filled with Momma’s homemade white lightenin’? Double check. Perf! Let’s hit the back bowls for a Rocky-Mountain-Christmas, out-of-bounds skiing adventure! You first Momma! This powder rocks! WATCH OUT! We’re fixin’ to fly like fools off that cliff! SWOOSH! SOAR! CRASH! What the? There are stars just a floatin’ in front of my eyes! See that fab hidden lodge over yonder? Let’s check it out! Ding dang! This place is Fancy Dance City! Don’t look now but there’s the famous industrialist John Galt sittin’ at the bar! Shasta! We must be in Ayn Rand’s Laisse Faire Mountaintop Utopia owned by fictional financier Midas Mulligan! Hey! Mr. Galt! Why so glum? What do you mean all the business folks, artists, scientists, inventors, doctors and smarty-pants who hide out here from government interference are flat-smackin’ broke? Wow! It’s last call for the free-for-all! It appears poor Mr. Mulligan’s mountaintop hideaway fund was caught up in looter-moocher Bernard Madoff’s worldwide $50 billion Ponzi scheme! Momma break out the white lighten’ and welcome Mr. Galt to the real world! Cheers!
Vinyl is the new Digital! Honey y’all are gonna flip cartwheels when you see what Jon Tonge is sellin’ at Dog Ear Books located in Madison Markets at 142 Academy Street! It’s the coolest EVER Audio-Technica LP to Digital Turntable! He’s got ‘em on sale for only $159! So anyway, this cool, new gadget plugs smack into your PC or Mac and will turn all those old LP, 45, and even 78 vinyl records into digital media files or CDs! I flat love it and Jon says they’re sellin’ like hotcakes! Oh and he says mommas and daddies have been bringin’ their youngins in to show ‘em what a record player looks like! Right! And if you want, Jon will digitize your vinyl records on a CD for $5 per album, but if the record’s really annoyin,’ like a yodelin’ album, Jon’s gonna charge you $10 ‘cause he has to listen to it! Get over there immediately and pick one up one of these Audio-Technica thingies with that Christmas cash!
Country Boys are in Town! I’m talkin’ ‘bout the soon-to-open Country Boys B-B-Q restaurant located at 871 North Main Street in Madison where the Dairy Queen used to be! I just popped in to get the scoop! Ok so owner Gary Grissom of Morgan County says they’re hopin’ to open this month and the menu will focus of course on barbeque but will also feature hamburgers, hotdogs, chicken fingers and lots of yummy sides! Oh and Gary says Country Boys B-B-Q will also cook up a big ole batch of barbeque, turkey or ham for parties and celebrations! Gary’s brother Dennis says the new restaurant will offer customers a super clean environment and great food at reasonable prices! Can’t wait! Keep watchin’ this column for more intel on this new business!
Shrimp, Oysters and drinks oh my! O’Hara’s Restaurant, owned by Steve Hesson and Robert Richardson and located at 133 North Main Street in downtown Madison, has got it goin’ on! They have a brand spankin’ new shrimp and oyster bar run by none other than Morgan County’s own Kenny Pritchett. Honey Kenny will steam you up a heap of shrimp or you can order raw or steamed oysters in no time flat! They are oh-so delish! Steve says the shrimp and oyster bar is open Wednesdays through Saturdays from 4 p.m. until close! Check it out and get ready for some fabulous seafood!
Ding dang! Christmas is almost here and I’m flat worn out! Momma call Amici Italian Café at 706-342-0000 and order us up one them fancy, yummy Summer in Turin gourmet pizzas and have ‘em deliver it right smack to our door! That’s right! Amici’s delivers in the downtown Madison area Tuesday through Saturday from 5 p.m. until close and on Sunday from 3 p.m. until close. Hey and for lunch during the week, the manager will flat walk your order over if you’re in the downtown Madison area! Order out y’all!
Hey that’s all the Biz on Buzz this week. Y’all have a beautiful Christmas and Holiday Season! I’ll see all y’all next week: Same time. Same number one weekly newspaper in the Great State of Georgia!