The weather’s so ding dang LA-ish, Momma went over to Amelia’s located at 172 South Main St., in downtown Madison and bought up all the new Spring fashions! Honey, you should see her flauntin’ ‘round in her comfy bright pink Not Your Daughter’s Jeans with her embroidered Johnny Was t-shirt! Plus she’s totin’ a brand spankin’ new a Fauxy Burch (Fauxy as in knock-off Tory Burch)! Ding dang! The Biz Buzz needs a new outfit and fast but that dadblasted handsome husband has done hid his credit card! Luckily, I flat know where it is so watch out! I’m headin’ over to Amelia’s to pick up those fantastic Batali sunglasses! Honey they are smack fab and are only $25! Yes!

I flat just got off the phone with Kenny Pritchett to get an update on the first new restaurant that’s gonna open in 2013 on Main Street in Madison! OK so here’s the scoop: Honey Kenny has retained Edward Thorton, former Ice House Chef, to assist him with the new restaurant and they are flat comin’ up with the menu as we speak! Anyhow, here’s what we do know: The new restaurant is gonna be called O’Hara’s – A Vintage Café and it’s gonna open around the first week in February for Brunch and Lunch at first and then they’re gonna add dinner no later than mid-March! Ok now they’re keepin’ their menu plans right close to the vest and I flat couldn’t get the info but don’t worry y’all! Biz Buzz is gonna pull out all the stops to get the scoop on this fab new restaurant! I flat cannot wait!

Ding dang! I flat can’t fit into my party britches! My bowhonkers have exploded along with my jelly belly! Somebody HELP! Shoot fire! I’ve even got fat feet! Who’s that? It can’t be! But I swear y’all! It’s Paul Simon! Just listen: “There must be 50 ways to leave your blubber. Just check out the track, Jack. Make a fitness plan, Stan. No need to eat soy, Roy. Just listen to me. Hop off the chair, Claire. Snack on fat free, Lee. Drop off the fat, Kat and eat raw veggies!” 

That’s it! But honey it sure does help to get your big fat blubber butt to the gym and there is no excuse to NOT go to the gym in Morgan County! That’s because we have two full service gyms and many places for yoga!

Right so that Dancin’-With-The-Stars star Kim Watts (who with her husband Rob Watts owns and operates The Madison Fitness Center) wanted me to let all y’all know that she’s startin’ up a brand spankin’ new Beginnin’ Zumba Class Mondays at 6:45 p.m. and Wednesday at 6 p.m.! Kim says we’re all gonna learn fab dance steps to three or four songs and build from there! Honey even Momma is plannin’ on doin’ the zappy Zumba! Speakin’ of . . . Momma! What in the Sam Hill have you got on? That work out outfit is like sooo Flash Dance 1983! You look like a ding dang fool! Anyhow y’all us beginners will soon know all the Zumba steps, shakes and slides! Oh and check out all of Madison Fitness Center’s classes at www.madisonfitnesscenter.com! One more thing! Kim wants me let all y’all know that you can get the Advocare 24 Day Challenge on sale through Jan. 15 at $25 off! Ding dang! Cleanse away!

Channel some REM y’all: It’s the end of the world as we know it! It’s the end of the world as we know it! It’s the end of the world as we know it and I feel FINE! That’s right y’all! That ancient calendar created by the world’s first geeks (AKA Mayans) is flat comin’ to an end on Friday, Dec. 21! What the? EVERYBODY! NOW HEAR THIS! GET YOUR HANDSOME HUSBAND’S CREDIT CARD! That’s right! ‘Cause we’re gonna shop local and dine local like there ain’t no tomorrow! That’s cause there’s only one tomorrow left since FRIDAY IS THE END OF THE WORLD! Well one thing is flat certain: I’m gonna look real good in come brand spankin’ new clothes and some new boots on the world’s last day! Yes!

Hey! And, there’s no better way to make an exit than to go out with a party! I’m talkin’ all ‘bout The Winter Solstice Party at The Caboose in downtown Rutledge! OK so here’s the deal! Molly and Ed are gonna cook up a FEAST to end all FEASTS! It’ll be a fab, fab breakfast buffet from 9 until 11 a.m.! It’s only $7.50 per person and the kids WILL LOVE IT! That’s ‘cause Old Man Winter, his crazy cold sidekick Jack Frost along with the queen Mother Nature will all be there! Now listen y’all . . . I’m not certain ‘bout the weather forecast but there’s a chance of SNOW INSIDE THE CABOOSE! Oh and this is a way popular event so call for reservations although I’m sure you’ll find a spot if you try! See you all there!

Oh and Yoga instructor extraordinaire Eva Young is hostin’ A Winter Solstice Celebration Candlelight Yoga session on the evening of Dec. 21, from  7 p.m. until 8 p.m. at her Young Yoga Studio located in The Co-Op On East Main in downtown Rutledge! Om Shanti y’all!

Vertigo. Momma! We are fearless adventurers in the best, buff shape of our lives! Yes! We’re gonna conquer the cliff and climb the world’s most difficult climb! Red Bull is even sponsorin’ us! Momma pop me another can of that Red Bull with a hit of White Lightnin’! Perf! That hits the spot! Let’s go! The FISCAL CLIFF is just awaitin’! Ding dang! We’re half way to the top! Momma! Stop pullin’ on the rope or I’m gonna flat fall and take you with me! Stop the presses! What’s that? Eeeeeh. Eeeeh. Eeeeh! Shootfire! It’s a mean maniac mountain goat! Help! Cut the rope! He’s headed straight for meeeeeeee! Splat! What the? I ain’t hurt! My backpack buffered the blow! Let’s go back to the drawin’ board and get some proper trainin’!