Nunnsense: Animals where animals shouldn’t be

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Nick Nunn

Nick Nunn

By Nick Nunn

When I was in Germany last year, I was frequently surprised when people would bring their dogs into restaurants or department stores, even though that practice is perfectly acceptable in that culture. I simply was not used to seeing them there and had to get used to it.

Now, however, it seems that West Virginia and the U.K are trying to one up the shock factor on the animals-where-animals-shouldn’t-be front.

In West Virginia, a man entered a pet store looking for an alligator.

I know, it isn’t unusual for animals to be in a pet store, but this man was ready and willing to find a place for that gator that it shouldn’t be.

The man walked into the pet store, lifted a three-month old alligator worth $300 out of its cage and then proceeded to stuff it under his shirt.

Yep. He put an alligator in his shirt.

While there was no way to tell whether or not that baby gator got a free lunch that day from that man’s torso, it is well-known that younger alligators’ teeth are typically sharper than their adult counterparts

Ouch. Talk about an alternative piercing…

Then, in the U.K., a woman in Greater Manchester pulled up to the drive-thru lane of her local McDonald’s… riding a horse.

Offended that the workers there would serve people in automobiles but not people on horseback, the woman took the horse into the restaurant – while still atop the horse, I’d like to imagine – and complained directly to the workers.

And what did the horse do? It dropped a big, smelly deuce right there in the middle of the Micky D’s.

According to the Facebook page of the Greater Manchester Police Whitefield Division, the “sight and smell of this [poop] caused obvious distress and upset the customers trying to eat.”

Really? The patrons there didn’t want to scoop a little poop for their fries?

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