By Dianne Lively Yost, Columnist
Momma’s flat sick with a whoppin’ case of the Affluenza! She must have gotten it from that fool Wall Street billionaire Tom Perkins! It’s a dang epidemic! I accidently saw Momma’s email correspondence and she flat booked the Presidential Suite at the MGM Grand in Vegas this weekend and from there a private jet to Los Angeles for a shoppin’ spree with a high falutin’ personal shopper on Rodeo Drive! Shoot fire!
She even retained Madison-based Robert Hanselman Domestic Agency to hire her a fancy-dance estate manager and a DRIVER! Lord Have Mercy! This calls for three or more big ole doses of powerful White Lightenin’ followed by a day-long shift of barn-stall muckin’! The mules don’t care if you’re worth $10 or $10 million ‘cause somebody’s gotta shovel the . . . .Shavin’ Cream! Ain’t that right y’all?
Oh. My. Gosh! And, speakin’ of Affluenza, honey you ain’t got to be super rich to get yourself some super-fine retail therapy for your . . . What’s that? Do y’all hear that Reggae music? Yikes! I smell Wacky-Tobaccy and we sure ain’t in Colorado! Somebody call the LAW! Shoot fire! Momma’s done her hair up in dreadlocks and y’all know what that means! Amelia’s and Barkin’ Dogs Shoe Co. are havin’ their annual This Weather Is ‘Jamaican’ Us Crazy, Mon’ PARTY!
This is BIG! I’m talkin’ this is like Beat The Clock only there ain’t no clock but there’s wine and refreshments and music and DEALS! The best part is that we’re gonna get 70% OFF the original prices of ALL SALE ITEMS! Plus 20% of one regular priced item! Ding dang dollar deals! Y’all head right smack over to Amelia’s and Barkin’ Dogs Shoe Co. with your handsome husband’s credit card THIS THURSDAY, Jan. 30 from 4 p.m. til 6 p.m. at 172 South Main St., in downtown Madison! Don’t dilly dally! Oh and tell my handsome husband that I’ll be leavin’ the office early on Thursday to “sell” ads! Honey somebody’s got to do it! Shhhhhh. I’ll see all y’all there!
Mark your calendars! That Madison-Morgan Cultural Center’s hostin’ its annual Antique Show & Sale! This is a great event that draws hundreds to Madison! It all starts with the preview party on February 20 and the event goes from Feb. 21 til Feb. 22! Visit www.mmcc-arts.org or give them a call at 706-342-4743 for more info!
Oh and The Morgan County Citizen is publishin’ a special section the week of the event with great advertising rates! We’ll be over-printing the section so that information is on hand to Antique Show attendees! Give the Citizen a call at 706-342-7440 if you’re interested!
Hey and Valentine’s Day is FAST APPROACHIN’! But don’t worry y’all! The Citizen is publishin’ its annual and very popular Stupid Cupid page to give everyone great LOCAL gift and dining ideas! Look for it in the Feb. 6 edition of the Citizen! Advertisers! Call us today at 706-342-7440 to reserve your spot or feel free to email the Biz Buzz at firstname.lastname@example.org and we’ll get your super ad ready!