Spanx: Porker Invisibility Cloaks

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Svelte is in and porkish, muffin-top, fat-flapping arms and such are out! Out I say! So where does that put me? The gym my friend. The butt-kickin’ gym. Oh yeah and in the Spanx aisle at Amelia’s. That’s Spanx y’all . . . known among the bacon-chompin’, fried biscuit munchin’, milk-shake slurppin’ Plus Size Population as porker invisibility cloaks. Ok ok it also puts me in the greenish-brown-protein-shake-drinkin’, fiber-supplement-pill-poppin’ cleansing arena (Editors note: cleanses are available at Madison Fitness Center and Madison Family Chiropractors). Well I reckon it’s time to exercise cause . . . DING! DING! DING-DING-DING-DING-DING! Whoops! There’s the dinner bell! Let’s go eat y’all!

Right! The good news is that Jamie Williams’ new Wild Card Café that’s slated to open up with Christy Friesen’s Clover House Market on Hancock Street across from the old Avado Brands building is gonna have some bonafied good eats! Honey I’m talkin’ healthy and delish! Soups, fresh juices, salads, sandwiches and more! Plus Clover House Market will have exotic salts and other fab indulgencies! I cannot wait! Plans call for the duo restaurant/retail shop to open by the end of the first quarter 2015! Keep your eyes on the Citizen for more intel on this fab story!

Oh. My. Gosh! Honey, let me tell you what! Our shoe fashions are flat trendin’ international! I’m talkin’ all ‘bout Barkin’ Dogs Shoe Co. (located at 172 S. Main in Madison) and the new brands Vickie Hunt just ordered! Ok so my absolute fave is the Sergio Tomani brand from Bogota! Whaaaat? Yes! I have flat put the pair shown here in this column on layaway! She’s also gettin’ in some other international kicks like comfort fashion brand Fly London, outdoorsy,performance footwear from Chaco (Vickie says kids love this brand), Gidigio of Italy (Vickie says these are “straight out of a Venetian cobbler’s house and they are just plum sexy!”) and Antelope from Tel Aviv! Oh and she’s also gettin’ some great Jack Rogers shoes – the brand made famous by Jackie O! Ding dang! Y’all check out my new kicks from Bogota and go ahead and make a layaway payment for me! Yes! I mean my paycheck is piddlly and my handsome husband won’t give me a much-deserved raise! I mean really! How in the Sam Hill am I supposed to shop without a bunch of ding dang dollars?

Heard on the Street! Keith Rex (owner of five downtown Madison shops) is rustlin’ up some changes! First off Keith is gonna start openin’ Junque Korner on Sundays beginnin’ Feb. 8 and he’s also gonna add more antiques to the Junque Korner! His consignment store on Main Street will also be upgraded with more fine jewelry and home furnishings! His main store on Main Street (J&K Fleas An’Tiques), is fixin’ to get more dealers too: one specializing in cut glass and another in Southern antiques! Love it! Also in the works is Keith’s plan to consolidate his shops down to four, which will free up some employees to work at his other shops and will allow him to extend hours! Y’all keep watchin’ this column for more developments!

Wow! Big Kev’s BBQ located at 270 West Washington St., in downtown Madison is now servin’ 99 cent beer! All day. Everyday! Well that’s a ding dang deal if there ever was one!

Shoot fire y’all! It’s time to scat cat! But before I go I need to remind all y’all that the Morgan County Citizen is currently running its annual January White Sale with a full page, full color ad costing only $500 and a half page, full color ad only $300! Make a statement! Call us to reserve your full or half page today at 706-342-7440!

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